As educators of middle level children, we are constantly faced with the challenge of guiding our students towards becoming their best selves. Not only as a learner of academics, but as a contributor to our community. There is a beauty in this moment – one I am also experiencing as a parent – in which these children are evolving before our eyes into young adults. We know from brain research that never again will their brains be so malleable and open to influence and growth. The barrage of information is nearly limitless as these children are shaping their core values and belief systems, influenced by our family units but also by media, friend groups, and the surrounding environment.
As mentioned in the weekly update, our school resource officer will be speaking with our students about social media safety. This presentation isn’t only about being wary of your digital footprint or understanding the law. At its core, it is about empathy. It is about understanding that your words have power. Diana Cutaia, who works with our district as a consultant for Coaching Peace, talks about how online bullying is in part so prevalent because in delivering those hurtful words, you don’t have to see their impact on the face of the other person. You are shielded from seeing the pain you are causing. There is no emotional consequence. When we fail to address the power of words – to harm or to help – we are doing our students a disservice.
In the last two weeks, I have spoken with both individual students and groups of students that have personally experienced slurs that make up the language of discrimination, be it race, ethnicity, identity, ability, or gender based. While we can argue that these are isolated events that involve a small number of students, I am left to wonder how many times these words go unchecked. And I am compelled to reach out to all of you for your partnership in this important work of teaching, learning, and healing. It is important that we begin to teach children that offense language is often also oppressive language, and by using it, we continue the practice of prejudice. I have found that when these words are used, the students have a hard time explaining their intent – they may claim it was meant as a joke, they did not connect the word to the meaning, etc. I believe them. That is why it is on all of us as the adults in their lives to help them understand how we cannot allow these words to be part of jokes or allow them to be thrown around as if they had no meaning. These words have power.
At LOJ, we are beginning our own work to open a dialogue and take real steps towards being our best selves as well. We have just created an Equity Committee that will be examining our curriculum and our practices to look for our own biases and to seek out new perspectives. I would also like to invite our parents to join us in these conversations to lend their voices and expertise. We are limited to our own experience, and the only way to grow is to invite others in. Our goal is to become an entire school community that is safe, supportive, and proactive in our approach to equity. Please, please take this as an open invitation to join in that conversation. Our February School Advisory Committee meeting will have this as a topic next month as a starting point.
An author that I refer to for clarity, Lisa Delpit, is quoted as saying: We do not really see through our eyes or hear through our ears, but through our beliefs. To put our beliefs on hold is to cease to exist as ourselves for a moment — and that is not easy … but it is the only way to learn what it might feel like to be someone else and the only way to start the dialogue. Herein lies the key. To practice care with our words, to act with empathy, and to have the difficult conversations at our own dinner tables. That is where true change begins.
Thank you for your continued support and partnership.
Sara